Two years ago yesterday Mike took himself to St Vincent's emergency room to see what was wrong with his neck and it was cancer. So then he had all the cancer stuff happen to him and things got better. Yesterday Mike went to the Hospital again and the doctors told him he has a blood clot in his arm. So I don't know what this means. I just get to go to the Emergency room and create panic attacks for myself and watch Mike comfort me with ivs in his arm. Dude.
be braver
okay
So after watching mike smoke a cigarette, cell phone in one hand, embarrassing backless hospital clothes in the other. Offering whatever my useless sensibilities could offer. I went home.
I'm not good at this
okay
Then I went out to dinner with Jennie and Sara and they made me laugh and talk and drink red wine and they didn't make fun of me for repeating myself or stuttering. And Jennie said she probably would have reacted the same way, which was comforting but didn't help.